Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
