i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
