This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
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just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
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He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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