I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize