Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
