i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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