Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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