She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
