I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
