I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
