Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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