i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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