At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
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