She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
