id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
