I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
ttyl tear gas
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
