ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize