You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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