I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
