So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
