You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
