can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm too high and old for this...
Dick very happy bro
Randomize