the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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