just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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