it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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