I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The adults are the big ones right?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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