one word: firstdatebathroomanal
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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