I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize