just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
