hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
