things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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