Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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