White coat. Heels.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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