Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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