shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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