i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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