Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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