I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
