What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Randomize
