Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
