I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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