$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
