I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
