i would punch a child for taco bell
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
