after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
