your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
