Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
