my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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