i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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