i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
