My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
