i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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