I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize