Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
