I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
