You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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