dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
