found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
